Well, its done now. I'm not going to be getting a bachelors at ISU. I got some feedback from the Psych department that I was trying to transfer my major into and they said that I have too many hours to be admitted into the psych field. How is that even possible? Anyways, with that news, basically I am done at ISU. I'm going to finish out next semester, and maaaybe one more afterwards depending on social situation and then cut my losses and move on.
I could try to finish up with my Econ degree, but at this point, ISU has nothing I want anymore so I will be more than happy to wave goodbye to them for good. What this means for me though is that its time to hunker down, and get everything sorted out stat before my benefits start drying up. Time to go visit the doctors, and get a bunch of things sorted out, time to get my history in check, and to figure out my living situation once and for all. I'll be pushing to get Tele as a roommate that much harder because we need one, and once I get a job, if this house issue isn't sorted out to my liking, hopefully I will be able to move out and forget all about this place. We'll see.
Anyways, Mom is supposed to be in town this weekend and I have a lot to talk to her about and the dust has to settle on my opinion of ISU still but I believe that this will be the best option for me. I have a hard enough time settling in to the real world, so its time to just move on down the road. Ahh, what a lovely domino effect some things can have on my life. Nothing is ever stable, but I will adapt and move forward. Me and Sisyphus are bros.
Updates
Had the family shindig today. It was fun. Got to see a lot of people that are fun to talk to. Got to listen to a lot of boring conversations I'd rather not know about but hey, that's how family get-togethers are. Over-sharing and boredom mixed in with good times and good food. We had dinner at an Amish buffet which was different. Apparently the restaurant hires Amish people to cook and serve food but still uses modern tech and so forth to make things work. Its a strange combination of worlds. But they had really good apple butter, peanut butter and mashed potatoes and gravy.
I used my opportunities to try and discuss important matters of the house only to get pretty much shut down at every turn. Noone really wanted to talk about it with me aside from Auntsie who basically was not much help. Her 'constructive' advice is to just deal with it and shit happens. Good. Thanks for that. I got Mom to back me up and talk to my uncle Handyman. His opinion is that its grandpa's call even if we know its going to be a bad one. At least that is what he told me, he may have told mom something different. Alternative options at the moment are for me to buy the house (Not happening as far as I am aware) or some strange combination of moving out or something. I don't know whats happening with it. But so far, every option I have heard has been terrible and is going to result in me having to move out and quit school or take like 4 busses to get to school every day and find at least 2 more roommates. My head hurts.
I'm super stressed. Moreso than when I started the day. I am going to watch a couple shows and then maybe play some videogames and hope for the end of the world. Sorry in advance if my dreams come true. At this point an apocalypse of some sort seems like a better option. Grumble grumble.
Nothing ever works out properly. I'm beginning to think this is how it will always be for me. At least I got good friends to hang out with. Its the one bright spot of my life at the moment.
I used my opportunities to try and discuss important matters of the house only to get pretty much shut down at every turn. Noone really wanted to talk about it with me aside from Auntsie who basically was not much help. Her 'constructive' advice is to just deal with it and shit happens. Good. Thanks for that. I got Mom to back me up and talk to my uncle Handyman. His opinion is that its grandpa's call even if we know its going to be a bad one. At least that is what he told me, he may have told mom something different. Alternative options at the moment are for me to buy the house (Not happening as far as I am aware) or some strange combination of moving out or something. I don't know whats happening with it. But so far, every option I have heard has been terrible and is going to result in me having to move out and quit school or take like 4 busses to get to school every day and find at least 2 more roommates. My head hurts.
I'm super stressed. Moreso than when I started the day. I am going to watch a couple shows and then maybe play some videogames and hope for the end of the world. Sorry in advance if my dreams come true. At this point an apocalypse of some sort seems like a better option. Grumble grumble.
Nothing ever works out properly. I'm beginning to think this is how it will always be for me. At least I got good friends to hang out with. Its the one bright spot of my life at the moment.
Can't sleep, Brain will eat me...
Its been a bizarre several days, and its only helped to clarify a few things that have been bouncing around in my head. This Spring break will probably be one of the most fruitful and needed breaks I have had in a while. Because I really need time to vent and decompress. I should have been in bed an hour ago, but my brain says no. It is trying hard to find the words I want to spit out and say but it ends up just churning out white noise that distracts me to the point of insomnia. Its frustrating.
Gaming night tonight was super short on account of us missing a player due to spontaneous marriages. Its sad that I am more frustrated by gaming being cut short than I am happy that my cousin got married. Neither of which are significant influences on me. I find that I am just confused and nonplussed about the whole thing. What can I say? The wheel continues to turn and so I must continue on.
Tomorrow I get to hang out with my mom for a while and talk to the rest of the 'movers and shakers' in the family and try and get their permission to get a roommate to make up for aforementioned impulsiveness. At least I don't instead have to go begging to sleep on someone's couch for the rest of the year while I try to find a job. The world around me is so damned unstable its hard to trust/rely on anything anymore. Its tough to make plans more than a month in advance without worrying that something drastic will change on me. Im cranky that I am going to have to monopolize my chances to talk to family and catch up with talks of battle plans and things spiraling out of control instead of good times or other important issues I could bring up.
I checked my horoscope fortune at the beginning of the year said I would have an Auspicious year, and no bad months to speak of. Its 5 days into this month, so there is still plenty of time to turn things around still, but at the pace things are going, its looking like they're wrong. I'll figure out some way to pull this off, but its been a long time since I have been so stressed out. Its definitely showing in my productivity this semester at school and its making even my occasional depression sit on the backburner. I've been getting cranky and animatedly angry a lot more than I have in a looooong time, and not sleeping well.
I wish I could use my blog for things aside from venting, but so far, everything else seems like its just so much less important. And if I go talking about Kamen Rider Bugmans or videogames on here it just takes away from when I actually get to have real live conversations. That being said, you should all go watch Chuck, Castle, Kamen Rider OOOs, and come to bad movie nights. They are good stuff. Oh and Burn Notice too, that ones a good one.
Well, the white noise of stress and faulty brain workings is diminished and I think I can go sleep now or at least go do some more reading til I pass out. My laundry is in the dryer and all thats left for me to do tomorrow is roll out of bed, shower, chug a rip it and then wait for mom. I'm wagering that tonights dreams are going to be something like me struggling to climb a mountain that keeps breaking apart as I try to climb or other symbolic interpretation of my mood of late. I really just want to catch a break for a change.
Gaming night tonight was super short on account of us missing a player due to spontaneous marriages. Its sad that I am more frustrated by gaming being cut short than I am happy that my cousin got married. Neither of which are significant influences on me. I find that I am just confused and nonplussed about the whole thing. What can I say? The wheel continues to turn and so I must continue on.
Tomorrow I get to hang out with my mom for a while and talk to the rest of the 'movers and shakers' in the family and try and get their permission to get a roommate to make up for aforementioned impulsiveness. At least I don't instead have to go begging to sleep on someone's couch for the rest of the year while I try to find a job. The world around me is so damned unstable its hard to trust/rely on anything anymore. Its tough to make plans more than a month in advance without worrying that something drastic will change on me. Im cranky that I am going to have to monopolize my chances to talk to family and catch up with talks of battle plans and things spiraling out of control instead of good times or other important issues I could bring up.
I checked my horoscope fortune at the beginning of the year said I would have an Auspicious year, and no bad months to speak of. Its 5 days into this month, so there is still plenty of time to turn things around still, but at the pace things are going, its looking like they're wrong. I'll figure out some way to pull this off, but its been a long time since I have been so stressed out. Its definitely showing in my productivity this semester at school and its making even my occasional depression sit on the backburner. I've been getting cranky and animatedly angry a lot more than I have in a looooong time, and not sleeping well.
I wish I could use my blog for things aside from venting, but so far, everything else seems like its just so much less important. And if I go talking about Kamen Rider Bugmans or videogames on here it just takes away from when I actually get to have real live conversations. That being said, you should all go watch Chuck, Castle, Kamen Rider OOOs, and come to bad movie nights. They are good stuff. Oh and Burn Notice too, that ones a good one.
Well, the white noise of stress and faulty brain workings is diminished and I think I can go sleep now or at least go do some more reading til I pass out. My laundry is in the dryer and all thats left for me to do tomorrow is roll out of bed, shower, chug a rip it and then wait for mom. I'm wagering that tonights dreams are going to be something like me struggling to climb a mountain that keeps breaking apart as I try to climb or other symbolic interpretation of my mood of late. I really just want to catch a break for a change.
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