Just got done watching the first half of Fullmetal Alchemist tonight and its super late the night before my last exam of the semester. The show is pretty amazingly good for what I had expected to be kiddy turned out to be rather grown up, thoughtful and exciting. Definitely had some tearjerker moments, but I'm a softy anymore so Im probably not a good tool for measuring that.
I also recently finished watching all of Den-O (except for the new Cho-Den-O stuff which I have waiting for me when I get around to it). It was a very well done series and I am looking forward to watching more Kamen Rider shows now. Probably start with W again over break. Lots of stuff to do over break.
But ultimately, tonight I am finally coming to grips that the year is coming to an end, and realizing what a crazy hellish year its been. Definitely top 2 worst in my life. I don't even know where I am right now mentally speaking and its hard to think of what next year will bring. Itll be a year since I lost Sam in about 25 days now and I am getting better each day as I try to deal with how I should move about my life after the fact. But I know it still hurts and probably always will. I now have 3 songs that are almost guaranteed to make me cry. I wonder a lot of things, but its really hard to put all the ideas to paper. I think that wondering is what causes my insomnia and I don't like it, but what else do I have but my thoughts to keep me company this late at night?
I put on a good show, but ultimately Im such a tragically flawed, broken individual that I even feel mocked some days by the nickname Emperor. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Ah well, time for some sleep before my final. With any luck the bus wont ditch me or if it does, I can at least get a ride in. I need a car. Music therapy is how I cope and I have been without significant song for over a year now. Its taking its toll.
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